OUTSIDER

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September 29, 2018
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My work has always been political. How can an arti My work has always been political. How can an artist create and not speak to the wider context of community or land? One of the (many) reasons we moved into the van was in protest at Britain’s Brexit vote. We still very much feel European, and in times like these I believe we should be opening our borders to help those in need, not locking ourselves away to fight it out on this tiny island. I wanted The MthR Trilogy to be international in scope. In the first book, the narrative ranges across glorious European landscapes, from Welsh coastlines, to the peaks of Mont Blanc, to the southernmost part of Crete, and many places in between. There’s memories of Kolkata, India, as well as future imaginings of drowning cities such as Barcelona and Venice. This photo is of our visit to Venice back in October 2018, but it’s been about fifteen years since I visited Barcelona and so some creative licence has had to be employed. I’ve intentionally not sent the book out for preview/review because I want to do things differently. I still have two more books to finish in this trilogy and so a huge fanfare right at the beginning could suck all the wind out the sails of the next two books. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so I’m pacing myself accordingly. I am co-creating some lovely intimate readings in natural spaces across Europe over the coming months, and years, as we continue to travel, and if you’d like to know more or consider hosting a small gathering of friends shoot me a DM? And, as if the universe heard my desire to remain international, the first book launch event will be on May 4th on Clubhouse where I’ll be reading sections of the novel accompanied by the hugely talented musician Tze Toh over in Singapore (swipe left). We had a three-hour jam session last night on zoom and I’m so excited to share this new work and collaboration with you. If you’re not yet on Clubhouse (it’s an app) and want an invite to join, hit me up in the DMs - I’ve got six left. Note - it only works on an iPhone. Thanks to my quite wonderful friend Soo for organising. The event is free to attend, you just need to be a Clubhouse member. I’ll post the link in my bio when it’s up.
The most elaborate character development I underto The most elaborate character development I undertook for the new novel, The Madness of Sara Mansfield, was with Alex/Crow. They began life as an hour-long sound/spoken word performance piece, CRØWOMAN. I only performed this twice before realising that this character is Trans and that they need to live in the novel, not on stage. As I’ve written before, the titular character has my initials because all of the characters in the novel are potential reflections of my Self: I am large, I contain multitudes; and so the psychological exploration - mapping the internal landscapes, has been as essential as the nature writing - immersing in the landscapes of Europe. However, Alex’s narrative isn’t focussed on their sexuality or gender (they use neutral pronouns). Early in the novel they experience a series of spiritual awakenings, or breaks from reality, or psychotic episodes, depending upon your chosen viewpoint. Alex’s character is an exploration of the magic that exists within Trans people: their ability to shapeshift and hold multiple realities, their capacity for great healing, both of the Self and the wider community. I truly hope I manage to convey this with sensitivity and love. The Madness of Sara Mansfield is available from my website SophieMcKeand.com from 1st May 2021. Link in bio to the original CRØWOMAN sound piece on Soundcloud. #storyteller #trans #transformation #shapeshifter #amwriting #poet #poetlife #character #transgender #transisbeautiful #novel #sophiemckeand #themadnessofsaramansfield
My new novel, The Madness of Sara Mansfield (1st i My new novel, The Madness of Sara Mansfield (1st in The MthR Trilogy), is out on 1st May 2021. It’s a strange feeling sending this book out into the world. Especially as I’ve never spent so long on a single piece of writing in the past. Over six years I’ve agonised on endless lines as if it were an 88,000 word poem. One of the elements I‘ve struggle with is worrying how people might perceive some of the political themes. Perhaps because in the past I’ve felt a deep need to explain myself, and so before I could complete this novel I had to undertake the self-healing journey of being absolutely okay with being misunderstood. I take comfort in the many writers whose work refuses to be hijacked to suit any one political agenda - even Orwell was drawn into explaining the political meanings behind 1984 because both left and right used his words as evidence for their own arguments. Thinking about this lately, these lines from an older poem of mine keep surfacing. They speak of the ever-evolving nature of the poet, of the fact that we must continually embrace the death of all our ideas & be reborn through our new work if we want to prevent the calcification of the soul. A reminder that our work must remain true to this ephemeral cycle of life & death & rebirth if the words are to contain any lasting substance. The final line reminds me that people will discover in the work exactly what they want. No more, no less, and this is what I aspire towards. Text reads: Psycholingualgeography (excerpt from) I was an acorn on the tree I was the seed of a woman who died I was made whole - shaped from song a tiny acorn on the tree who dreamed of womanhood and fell this is the second time I was born what you look for in me, you will find #poetlife #amwriting #poetryislife #sophiemckeand #TheMthRTriolgy
It’s difficult to explain the two extremes of Bo It’s difficult to explain the two extremes of Bonnie the rescue hound. This is her normal state around 99% of the time - sweet, loving, needy, demanding. But when she sees another dog, fireworks explode in her mind, her heart races to an extreme extent and she rockets towards them at breakneck speed barking loudly. We’ve tried endless tactics over the years, and I suppose here’s something I’ve come to realise: there’s a lot of dog owners out there who’ve taken on rescue hounds with difficult, reactive behaviours; who’re absolutely committed to working with their hound to help them live a happy, integrated life; but the most common approach to dog training is still one of dominance, teaching through fear and tough discipline, and these owners know this kind of dominance isn’t right for them or their dog. This is what stopped us getting the help we needed for Bonnie sooner - we knew in our hearts that kind of aggressive domination wasn’t right, but we didn’t know of any other way. It took five years to discover the positive reinforcement approach, and I think this is partly due to the fact that we needed to develop an understanding around rewards. Positive reinforcement is essentially about being quick and reacting immediately with praise and rewards the second Bonnie takes a step in the right direction, instead of working to squash behaviours we don’t find agreeable. Positive reinforcement doesn’t ‘reward bad behaviours’, although to the untrained eye it can appear that way - one guy recently snarled wildly at Bonnie when she was under control on the lead but was exhibiting signs of stress because he was coming too close with his dog. That really helped mate, cheers. We’ve made more progress with Bonnie in the month-or-so after discovering @rehabyourrescue and using these new techniques than in the five years previous. It really is a gamechanger and an approach I’d especially recommend for nervous hounds with difficult, reactive behaviours. Anyway - this is Bonnie demanding more hugs, because she simply doesn’t get enough, does she? 😂 #rescuehound #adoptdontshop #positivereinforcement #whippetx #vanhound #vandweller #fulltimevanlife
I am so in love with my body right now I want to s I am so in love with my body right now I want to swim in every glorious moment, feel it visceral and wild against skin. Yesterday I blasted uphill fireroads on the bike, lungs sucking in mouthfuls of spring, forest air. Then long swooping singletrack descents had me stood on pedals until the fronts of thighs burned like crazy, eyes focussed on the trail ahead. Slowly I’m remembering how to ride, the movement of body with bike, muscle memory calling me home to myself. The previous day, thoughts rooted in a deep section of shallow stream near the trail’s end, so I stuffed a couple of micro towels into the backpack just in case. The coldest water I’ve ever swam in? Or was the switch from hot-cycling to icy-mountain-river almost too giant a leap? Lying there naked, even for a brief time, was both a challenge and thrill as the bitterly cold water tumbled over me. A heavy, dull numbness in hands signalled exit time, and I stood drying on rocks, clapping hands to bring back feeling, shaking out limbs and wet hair; body vibrating with poetry, with the unnameable essence of being. 📷 @andyrgarside 💙 #rewildyourlife #middleyears #sondertransmitter #wildswimming #outdoorwomen
Living in a van whose electrics are powered by sol Living in a van whose electrics are powered by solar, makes me acutely aware of the sun in ways I’d never envisaged in my previous life. Last night we parked in woodland, under the dark canopy, and it was sublime! This morning our battery reading was low and so we had to drive fifty metres into the sunlight to give our solar panels a boost. It’s such a tiny thing, but all these micro-moments conjoin in the heart to form a beautiful river of energy connecting me more strongly each day to the Earth and her poetic soul. #poetlife #homeiswhereyouparkit #natureismychurch #slowlivingactivism
One of the elements of the new novel, The Madness One of the elements of the new novel, The Madness of Sara Mansfield, that’s important to me is the nature writing. Although this sci-fi trilogy nods towards dystopia, there’s also hope, and for me, the potential for new dreams always flows from nature. After wars, or in derelict places, wild plants grow, reclaiming the space, rejoicing in their fecundity. Nature knows how to heal the scars of our making. I think this is why I find books like McCarthy’s The Road too depressing - I don’t believe we’ll wipe nature out, I actually don’t believe we’ll wipe ourselves out. We’re clearly in a huge learning phase as a species, and there’s many tough lessons ahead, but ultimately I have faith that the Earth will guide us in the right direction. Anyway! I decided to only write about landscapes I’d visited in the book, with a sprinkle of poetic licence where needed for the narrative of course. On Crete, we meet Rhiannon & Geraint, two characters I originally discovered in the Mabinogion some years before and so their story evolved into a blend of Welsh myth and Cretian landscapes. Crete’s a magical place of Minoan history, overflowing with the stories of endless beautiful plants. It was here I first discovered wild Iris and all the connections she encouraged me to make. Photo of Cretian moonrise taken by @andyrgarside March 2019. #poetlife #traveller #slowlivingactivism
Text reads: The poet affects great change in the Text reads: The poet affects great change in the hearts of people so that those people can affect great change in the world. Lines from The Madness of Sara Mansfield, first book in the MthR Trilogy. Out as digital download on 1st May 2021 from SophieMcKeand.com. #poetlife #novelist #poet #changemaker #shapeshifter #intentionallife
One of the first lessons this life teaches is that One of the first lessons this life teaches is that you’re not really in control - and the sooner you get to grips with that, the more fun you have. So many times I’d see a perfect swim day and not be in the mood so I’d wait until the next day, which would, inevitably be throwing it down. We’ve learned to live so much more in the moment, and to stay in tune with nature. We plan our work that way too (as much as possible), because if you know three storm-filled days are coming you get outdoors as much as possible beforehand. But even with all this foresight and knowledge, sometimes things just don’t work in our favour. We were in south west Wales in November before lockdown, and the surf looked SO GOOD, but our boards were in a garage in north Wales while we figured out how to fit them in the van. Gutted thought I, but nevermind we’ll be back soon. Cue four months of lockdown 😭. Now we’re back - we have reconfigured the garage to accommodate surfboards, winter wetsuits, and are ready to go. Ha. No. The water is a mirror. I kid you not - it’s the flattest I’ve ever seen the sea here in years. But Andy reminded me today - we’re not here on a short holiday break. This is how we live now. Soon enough the swell will return and we won’t be sat behind a desk in Milton Keynes wishing for another holiday, we’ll be heading over to the coast in our van/office to catch some of those glorious waves. In the meantime we did get a nice hike in along a bit of the coastal path. #homeiswhereyouparkit #traveller #buylesslivemore #alternativeliving #natureismychurch
Since we began travelling across Europe we’ve be Since we began travelling across Europe we’ve become much more aware of how hard British communities work to keep travellers out. Height restriction barriers, No Overnight Parking signs, even Flintshire’s recycling centres now demand proof that you have an address in Flintshire before they’ll let you take your rubbish and recycling there - what on Earth do they think people will do with it if refused entry? They can’t eat it. So you’ll end up with roadside dumps and another vicious circle will ensue. Every other country on the mainland is aware that people travel through their lands and consequently make provisions: 24-48hr free parking, water stations that usually cost around €2 for 100L, places to dump toilet waste, recycling and waste facilities. You might think ‘why should we pay for these services?’ But this doesn’t take into account the value transient people bring to a place - those who’re touring as part of their holiday visit monuments, bars, restaurants, farmers markets, delis, clothes shops etc etc, and spend money on all sorts of attractions. These people often have high spending power and will also stay in campsites as part of their trip. Then you have the full-timers like us who’re not big spenders but who still feed into the local economy wherever we are. Personally I’d be happy to pay for water, if only we could find it. Not facilitating our existence doesn’t make us go away. A thought occurred to me this morning - if everyone who owns a camper in the UK lobbied their local council to earmark a small car park on the outskirts of town, equip it out with a water station, electric hook ups, and toilet waste dumps (like the French Aires), then there’d be a host of them springing up in no time. We are only ever guests on this land that we all inhabit - finding ways to make as many people welcome as possible should be the aim. Shouldn’t it? #vanlifer #homeiswhereyouparkit #slowlivingactivism #traveller #theworldismyhome
Yesterday we hiked to the source of the Severn Riv Yesterday we hiked to the source of the Severn River. We stood at the small swampy bog that is the origins of this vast and tumbling body of water that becomes so large the Severn Bridge was constructed so that we might cross. A reminder that the humblest beginnings can grow into the most unexpected forces of nature. Later I spoke with the trees there, who do not think of humans as friends, and I apologised for the mess we’ve made of everything. They told me that I am loved, that the responsibilities of humanity do not lie on my shoulders. Last night, for the first time ever, Andy and I shared the exact same dream. Maybe the trees are growing our connection, making us more aware of each other, and the land, in the many planes of existence woven throughout this world. #slowlivingactivism #lifeoutdoors #homeiswhereyouparkit #traveller
Nowhere else I’d rather be 💙 #vandweller #slo Nowhere else I’d rather be 💙 #vandweller #slowliving #vanlifers #homeiswhereyouparkit #buylesslivemore
Feels so good to be back on my bike in the mountai Feels so good to be back on my bike in the mountains. #homeiswhereyouparkit #mtblife #sondertransmitter #themountainsarecalling #lifeontwowheels
Charging up the phones to be posted off to @refuge Charging up the phones to be posted off to @refugee_womens_centre tomorrow. New phone screen for the Huawei = £50 + £10 new USB charging cable + £10 new USB charging cable for the iPhone 6. Total spend so far: £70. Total raised: £85.92. As an aside for those who chipped in cash as a business - PayPal took quite a big cut, so for £3 donation only £2.61 came to the refugees. Anyway! That leaves £15.92 which will go towards posting to France. If there’s any left I’ll donate it directly to the refuge. Thank you so so much to all the amazing women who chipped in (tagged here - except for Lisa Herring who I can’t seem to find!) and to my amazing partner Andy for donating his old iPhone. I really enjoyed running a tiny fundraiser that hit its target by mid-afternoon the same day. It felt useful but without having the stresses of a massive campaign. I feel so grateful to know so many generous women and that we’re able to help other women together. Also huge thanks to Ash at Tech 51 Mobile phone store Mold for giving me a good deal on all the gear. #refugeeswelcome #slowlivingactivism #refugeewomen #womensupportingwomen #womenempoweringwomen #noborders #chooselove #womensupportwomen #womenrefugees #feminism #feminist #feminismisforeverybody
I want to say that yesterday’s sea swim was deli I want to say that yesterday’s sea swim was delicious and sublime. In all honesty, I haven’t swam outdoors since December and so my tolerance for the cold has dropped pretty low. Added to that, the previous two winters spent in the van on Crete (2019) and Portugal (2020) have made me pretty soft where outdoor swimming is concerned. Let’s just say I’m glad I got in and that I managed a full five minutes before exiting, and I did feel exhilaration AFTERWARDS. 😂 📷 @andyrgarside 💙 #outdoorswim #seaswim #coldwater #middleyears #homeiswhereyouparkit
I’m so happy to share the cover art of the new n I’m so happy to share the cover art of the new novel, The Madness of Sara Mansfield. My partner in life, Andy Garside, always designs my work, always manages to convey the essence of each book with a beautiful clarity and vision. I wanted the making of this book to be an act of trust, whose creation speaks to an anarchic ideal that everything under this blue sky belongs with a collective stewardship, in the Creative Commons. Which is why The MthR Trilogy will be published copyleft, in solidarity with the trees and the land whose very nature is the Creative Commons. Whenever I sit with the trees they remind me that everything we have is a gift from the land and as such we can take whatever we need, but nothing belongs to us. I think of the apple trees who give and give, no matter if someone wants to just eat a few, or if someone comes and takes the whole crop to sell, the apple tree keeps giving. This is the truth of nature and the world. We expect this from nature, we treat this as our right, and yet rarely expect this same behaviour or commitment from ourselves. Why is that? Anyway, these are some of the themes I’m also exploring in the novels, as well as the novels themselves making this political statement that, we don’t have to be singular people fighting it out, we are a glorious microcosm-macrocosm beautifully co-created through syncretism, symbiosis and symbolism. The Madness of Sara Mansfield will be out at the end of the month. #bookcover #amwriting #creativecommons #copyleft #scifi #sophiemckeand #theMthRtrilogy #writerscommunity
I’m on the final proofread of the novel. Can’t I’m on the final proofread of the novel. Can’t quite believe I’ve made it this far. Finding the right copy-editor and proofreader is essential. No matter how many edits I’d done, there were still things I’d missed, not just with punctuation and grammar but also with clarity of thought at times. All of these layers add to the process of birthing this book into the world so that I feel confident it’s the absolute best piece of work I can create. It was a long and difficult decision to publish myself, and not without some failed attempts at finding an agent. This again is when I began tuning into my anxiety: as soon as I sought the validation of others and handed my power away my anxiety would go through the roof; the minute I decided to take full creative control of the process of birthing this book, I felt a deep calmness. The ego wasn’t too pleased of course - and still shouts occasionally ‘WTF are we doing? We should hold out for a big publishing deal.’ Ha. But I have to be honest that a three-book deal (it’s the first in a trilogy) isn’t something that’s handed out even to established novelists, nevermind a poet who can’t stay-in-her-lane. And I’ve accepted that full creative control is more important to me than anything else as it’s also what will allow me to publish the novel in the Creative Commons/Copyleft. Anyways, We fitted a swivel plate to the passenger seat this week and what a difference it’s made! Feels like sitting in a conservatory. But of course as soon as we swing this chair around we become acutely aware of the giant hole in the seat that’s been there since we bought the van four years ago (swipe for pics). This was such a difficult mend! I’ve never done upholstery before and the bottom stitches had to go through the plastic material (I realise I’ve lost my thimble too 😭). An old pair of jeans did the trick for material, padded with some spare sponge we had in the garage. It’s not the prettiest of mends but it looks better than it did. As an aside if anybody knows why all the DPD delivery vans we looked at had the same hole in the passenger seat please tell me! I’ll share the cover design with you next week. Eeep! #writerslife
Being back in our homeland of Cymru this winter of Being back in our homeland of Cymru this winter offered a beautiful opportunity to reconnect with the land and trees here. This weekend travel restrictions ease and we get to explore farther afield once more. Here’s a poem from the Hanes poetry pamphlet in celebration of that. Also for my lovely friend @anjetvanlinge 🌿 #rainforest #celticrainforest #idreamwithtrees #poetlife #slowlivingactivism text reads: rainforest Snowdonia’s Celtic rain forest in Cwm Mynach (Monk’s Valley) has around 200 days of rain each year. rainfall tears blister on skin rivulets’ persistent fingers plough scars worry at the ground toss thoughts like stones the landscape shifts is reformed -changeling- and other times old memories are excavated ancestral roots so deep I didn’t know they existed so profound I couldn’t tell you their name the rain falls relentless washes clean veins & roots that shimmer like the backs of dolphins in darkness and I can’t look away can’t turn away can’t go back the rain falls through the earth and so do I
We’ve been incredibly lucky during this past loc We’ve been incredibly lucky during this past lockdown year. The first half locked into Portugal then Switzerland, and even this winter in Cymru we’ve managed to park with family. There’s a certain amount of life that is shaped by our attitude, and positive thinking makes such a difference when, for example, getting through winter in a tiny home set up to travel but aren’t able to do so. Still, there’s a huge privilege in even being able to think positively. I have the cushion of a beautiful tiny home, a happy partnership, and being able to see our children and grandchildren (either virtually or in real life). I cannot even begin to imagine how it must feel to be stranded in a foreign country with absolutely nothing, and not be able to contact those you love, and who love you. I think about the situation of refugees a lot, and I saw recently that the @refugee_womens_centre has a call-out for working mobile phones so that the women can contact their wider family either by calling or through social media. I have a Huawei Y7 that I want to send (swipe) Andy’s sending his old iPhone 6. The phones need to be in good working order, and although my Y7 works perfectly, the screen is cracked and it needs a new charging cable and plug. This will cost £70. I didn’t expect it to be so much and I don’t have that much money right now so I was wondering if anybody on here might be interested in chipping in? We’ll pay for postage to France for both phones. But I thought even if someone might be able to chuck a couple of quid into the pot it would help? I know things are tough for a lot of people right now which is why I’m not asking or DMing anybody personally, but if 70 of my followers put £1 in each (maybe via PayPal?) we’d have it sorted in no time. ***update*** Total chipped in by an amazing array of women is £78.92! More info in comments - thank you so much! 🙏🏻💙 Here’s a photo of our amazing daughter and grandchildren whose beautiful love and light I’m grateful for every single day. #refugeecrisis #familyiseverything #familyislove #womensupportingwomen #womenhelpingwomen #refugeewomen #refugeeswelcome #noborders
Living this nomadic life is a choice - we choose n Living this nomadic life is a choice - we choose not to own property or land, we choose not to get sucked into the mass madness that is thirty years of drudgery (or a mortgage). Successive governments have always fought to squash people who live any sort of alternative life as if we are an affront to their very existence. Perhaps we are. Perhaps our lives are the art that shows people that there is another way to live in this world and it can be sunset-soaked and joy-filled. Perhaps if enough people began to realise that the government is put in power by us and therefore should be working to facilitate whichever way we choose to live our lives, instead of encouraging us into debt and shit jobs for their billionaire friends and family, we might have a more free and fair society. Freedom is such a fragile thing - so easy to remove, so difficult to reinstate once it’s gone, which is why I support the Resist Anti-Trespass movement. That bill is nothing but a land grab by the rich and powerful, another way of moulding our rich and multifarious array of lifestyles into one drab homogeneous blob. Another way of feeding us all into the machine that shits out uniform-sized workers and thinkers. This Slow Living life of quiet activism isn’t necessarily for everyone, and I respect that, but that respect needs to work in all directions, instead our government is determined to stamp their autocratic boots all over any sovereign individual. Anyways when I get utterly depressed at us all sleepwalking into a totalitarian state, I make nourishing food, slowly. Here’s slow & lazy tomato and wild garlic soup. Makes a big pan full. Glug olive oil in a pan, add onion + 2xcelery & 2xcarrots all finely chopped. Put on lid and sweat on low heat for at least 20mins, stirring occasionally. Chop a large handful of fat, squishy overripe tomatoes - about12 (remove core if woody). I leave the skins on tbh. Cover with water + 1tsp salt, 1tblsp ground black pepper, 1cup rinsed red lentils, spring of herbs (I used rosemary here). Bring to boil, put lid on, simmer until lentils are soft. Chop large handful of foraged wild garlic leaves & stir in at the end. Serve. #slowlivingactivism
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