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Mental Health

Europe feature feminism Mental Health

When I need to be around big things so I can ignore the small…

November 13, 2020

I had a bit of a weird trigger this morning. Usually if I wake early I lie in bed writing a blog or ideas for a poem on my phone as it’s not fun getting up too early in a van when it’s cold, dark and raining outside.Yesterday I posted a lovely chat with Liset who also spends time creating on the road and I was feeling really happy with the way the OUTSIDER blog is evolving. I also sent…

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Mental Health travel vanlife

Autumn musings

October 29, 2020

I had a crisis of confidence on here a while ago… a lot of it was to do with how I’m perceived and the way we live. I was worried that posting about travel during a pandemic might annoy some people, I was worried I post too much for other people, I was worried that I might be misunderstood. Since being back in Wales, still in the van, and in a lockdown I’ve asked myself – what is it that…

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Just be yourself

October 25, 2020

Just be yourself.I wish people who said that understood how hard that can be. What is the ‘self’ anyway except a construct? Except a jumbled flood of experiences filtered through our water/flesh sacks and a brain we don’t ever fully understand the functionings of? My ‘self’ is a constantly evolving being. Some of this is almost imperceptible, some of it is conscious choosing – what is ‘organic’ growth and why do we expect it of anyone when the education system…

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creating family Mental Health vanlife

Breaking it down

October 24, 2020

Lazy van mornings. Cooking breakfast for the hounds. Being back in Wales is making lockdown more real, perhaps because we’re more tuned into the cultural thinking here. Half of me feels totally disassociated from it all, the other half feels as if I’m absorbing too much of the worry and the anger and the stress. This can lead to catastrophising about future things I have no control over. When this happens I have a series of questions to ask myself:…

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dailyconnectionwithnature Europe feminism Mental Health travel

Fire in the mountain

August 10, 2020

An old tattoo reminding me I have fire in my belly, and that sometimes I’ve allowed these flames to be near-extinguished. Mountain energy here is magnificent, and this time I’ve brought all the right things. As for my fears? Well, it doesn’t matter how big the mountain – when multiplying thoughts by 0 fear, you still get 0 fear. Feeling ready to think big and throw down some attitude. Nature always gives us what we need if we’re prepared to…

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creating feminism Mental Health slowlivingactivism

Still working on Self-love

May 4, 2020

I wasn’t sure about posting this photo Andy took when I wasn’t aware recently. I don’t look like a lot of the other yoga people in these squares. My legs are thicker, I’m still learning to stretch my 44yr old body into what are considered some pretty easy poses, and I’m not in lycra. But then a lot of showing up in this space, for me, is about my struggles with self-acceptance, with loving myself exactly as I am, not…

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Mental Health nature vanlife water

Still oscillating

March 18, 2020

@tinygiantlife asked today how people cope with anxiety and stress. When I’m funnelling it into healthy activities I become obsessed with learning a language, surfing, mountain biking, writing, reading and cooking interesting dishes; when it all gets too much I drink wine, overeat sugar/wheat until I feel sick, get stuck in scrolling news cycles, cannot focus on creating, and become horribly self-critical (who do I think I am creating this… Etcétera ad nauseum). This week I’m oscillating wildly between the…

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feminism Mental Health

On radical self acceptance

February 24, 2020

I always hated my photo being taken, nevermind a selfie, but radical self-acceptance is proving to be a beautiful gift from me to me that shifts self-defeating thoughts like sanddunes. I’ve spent time in the company of some lovely women this week, we’ve talked writing, cooked food… Laughed. And perhaps these days have made me realise how, the more I accept all the facets of myself, the more I can sit with other women, hear their stories, and celebrate all…

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creating family Mental Health vanlife

A return to knitting

January 5, 2020

A return to knitting. I’ve missed it, although I have to admit my commitment has been somewhat erratic over the years. There’s two things I’m very good at: socks and ponchos. The miniature and the giant. Everything else is pot luck really. When our van was broken into, they didn’t just take things of value but also any bags lying around, probably because they were in a rush and mistakenly thought there’d be cash hidden in the bags. One of…

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