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Still working on Self-love

May 4, 2020

I wasn’t sure about posting this photo Andy took when I wasn’t aware recently. I don’t look like a lot of the other yoga people in these squares. My legs are thicker, I’m still learning to stretch my 44yr old body into what are considered some pretty easy poses, and I’m not in lycra. But then a lot of showing up in this space, for me, is about my struggles with self-acceptance, with loving myself exactly as I am, not…

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feminism Mental Health

On radical self acceptance

February 24, 2020

I always hated my photo being taken, nevermind a selfie, but radical self-acceptance is proving to be a beautiful gift from me to me that shifts self-defeating thoughts like sanddunes. I’ve spent time in the company of some lovely women this week, we’ve talked writing, cooked food… Laughed. And perhaps these days have made me realise how, the more I accept all the facets of myself, the more I can sit with other women, hear their stories, and celebrate all…

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Chasing waterfalls

January 13, 2020

I have ambitions to be a great writer. There. I said it. And every single one of those words scares the shit out of me. Where I come from ambition (especially in young women) was celebrated. Because although some of us had big ambitions, maybe a lot of us didn’t; and even if we did, our ambitions were perhaps more relationship focussed than creative. Then I discovered the world of art and literature and for the first time in my…

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At the decade’s close

December 31, 2019

Time is an ocean or a raindrop. One decade gives itself over to another and I think more that our counting of time feels awkward, and almost childish: like a stick drawing of a horse or hummingbird that can only relay the most basic and rudimentary outline. This might be the last time I worry about Xmas or New Year. Each time the winter rolls beneath walking feet I find myself, like so many other women around me these days,…

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creating feminism Mental Health politics

Letting go of guilt

December 25, 2019

I‘ve been thinking of the ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ mindset a lot lately, but honestly – I don’t think most women are afraid. Fuck. We give birth, or don’t. Which is equally as brave. We hold communities together, or set out solo across the world. We love so fucking hard for so many people without fear. What holds us back, what keeps us ‘in our place’ is guilt. Guilt that we shouldn’t be: so loud, so large,…

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Managing your moon

November 28, 2019

I feel there’s not enough easily accessible information about being in the outdoors and women’s periods/moons/cycles. A recent exchange made me realise that instead of expecting male writers to include words detailing it, outdoor women could write more openly about it all. I was inspired to write this after reading an article ‘How To Shit in the Woods’ on the Gather Outdoors website, which I highly recommend for its practical, environmental approach to, well, shitting in the woods. If you…

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creating feminism Mental Health

When I stopped hearing advertising and started honouring my self #492

November 2, 2019

I turned 43 this year. I’d read that mid-forties is a difficult time as it’s when the ageing process becomes more noticeable. Ha. Fuck that. This year I’m learning to surf, spent a week living on my own in the van in a forest in Slovenia, and learned to love & trust myself more than I ever have done in the past. Maybe to some these aren’t massive achievements. We’re not the same – all needing different things from life…

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The Fourth Wave

October 14, 2019

Sophie McKeand as one voice in an ocean, she holds no power you shape her, fold wave / within wave.  when contained by hydro-dams, or stifled in water butts her energy is stagnated potential   sluiced through the gutter press & out into a wild night                her mouth is wicked you source her surface for erotic inspiration hold her accountable for awkward erections pressure memories underground  until the earth                               frAct/ures               once she was a goddess  formless / in form, your ancestors worshipped her   free  & unfettered.…

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the unloved life

August 20, 2019

EVERYTHING YOU DREAM OF IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR. What are you waiting for? A regret-filled life is nothing to be proud of. Maybe this poem says that in a dark way. Maybe it should be more inspirational & cheery but honestly, there’s nothing cheery about unfulfilled potential. If other people cannot see your vision it doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it’s that they’re not you. Be brave. Whatever it is just start taking small steps towards it every…

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