When I wrote this poem I would tell you that the land spoke to me that night. I would tell you she wrote to tell me to keep the promises I make to myself. To start small. To not give up on myself. My heart wanted to explore Europe, my head said this is not possible. My head said: Know Your Place. But I began to make these small promises to myself: that I would learn to listen to heart & womb; that I would begin an authentic daily writing practice; that I would take time everyday to connect mind with body to create awareness; that I would take time everyday to connect with the natural world in a meaningful way; that I would work to tread lightly on this earth; that I would work to grow a deep & organic spiritual connection with the land & water, the plants & animals; that I would learn from the mistakes & gifts of my ancestors to manifest real change in my life; that I would be brutally honest with myself about who I am so that I might continue to grow instead of stagnating. I have tried & failed & tried again at all of these things over the months since writing this poem – it is like a piece of fairisle knitting with each thread showing through at different times. It’s not yet making a cohesive pattern and there are plenty of knots at the back, but I know the potential is there so I keep knitting, keep weaving, keep learning. I won’t give up, and these days my heart beats stronger than she has in years. I am under no illusion that I live a perfect life – this existence is messy & inconsistent, in the past the ‘people pleasing’ side of me has made promises I could not keep but didn’t feel I was able to be honest and say so. But this life is a series of lessons and these are mine to work with, so I intend to keep trying. Most importantly, these days I keep the promises I make to myself and I’ve stopped making promises to others that I cannot fulfil just to make them momentarily happy. I feel so much better for creating this life with real intention. What promises are you making yourself & working to keep?
Also! There’s a demo recording of Dharma over on soundcloud – link here.
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