The first time I came across the word ‘autodidact’ was in Sartre’s Nausea. I fell in love with this word because it explained how I prefer to exist in the world. What I remember of this novel (last read about fifteen years ago so forgive me), is that this was a way of creating meaning in an otherwise chaotic and absurd world and oh! That sang to my heart. Any way of existing taken to the extreme is likely to…
Woken early by dreams, I watched the sun rise, wrote these words: Sunrise at Stonehenge I sit on this van-home stepas the sun rises overthe prehistoric Stonehenge monument last night I dreamedI became the stones(I walked right into them / my heart was called) I search for words(in the voice of three crows)and they are prophetic: How well do I know my heart?How can this knowing serve the whole? The polarisationof light & shadow is a rough knotof wood I…
When we first moved into the van nearly four years ago we wanted to get away from everyone and everything for a while, just to reset ourselves and maybe recalibrate our place in the world. As much as I needed those long months of solitude, I’ve emerged from that cave happier, and feeling more confident around people. I’m not sure this is something that’s evident from the outside because I was so good at masking, but now I’m building a…
A bit of a mission to find a swim spot today. Usually we hunt on the map for bodies of water & can navigate our way into the deliciousness of a wild swim BUT Bristol Water PLC had other ideas. First-off we headed over to Chew Valley Lake, which on a map looks as perfect a swim spot as you would ever wish to encounter. A large part of the lake is a nature reserve & (rightly so) fenced off…
In The Madness of Sara Mansfield, these words are attributed to Medha, a character who is activist, mother and grandmother. Medha is a fierce, determined woman living in defiance of the expected order of things. This has been an overarching theme of her life, and that of her ancestors, and yet she struggles to pass this onto her daughter, Saraswati, without squashing her at times. All of the characters in this novel speak from the first person perspective so that…
I’ve been talking a lot about what makes a successful life these past few years. I think this is because I came to realise we have very narrow parameters around what we consider success that often focusses on our earning or networking capacity. I had a very chaotic childhood. I’m not saying this to invite pity, but to offer a brief context. So success to me has been learning about stability, about how relationships work and how to form authentic…