Revisiting some earlier sections of OUTSIDER this week before the new Patreon chapter drops on Thursday morning. Back in March 2018 I wrote: I am mother, partner, daughter, step-mother, granddaughter & grandmother, (these last two seem impossible but the five of us span almost a century) and it has taken a long time to see past the guilt of needing more than this, of being more than this. I realise now that I am not solely these things, they are a deep & interconnected part of who I am, each one of these relationships is sacred, aiding growth & self-knowledge, & they will continue to do so, but I am my own woman, & also have to honour that or else I will desiccate inside (when I dream of water).
I realise that I am not responsible for the weight of the world, it is time to put that burden aside. The only thing I can change is myself – so I will commit to that. Even when it means others being uncomfortable, because as we change, so our relationships change, some will become more solid, some will shake like autumn trees, but I have faith that we have rooted well.
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