It’s strange how the world sometimes clicks into focus almost by accident. More and more I’m coming round to the idea that it’s about believing in the process, letting go of everything and having faith that I will find a way forward while taking that leap. It’s not a smooth path. It’s not even a path. A path assumes that someone has been there before to carve a way. This way means that unexpected hurdles, pitfalls and mental caverns are not pre-flagged up as I tumble headfirst into them. But if life is about learning then I believe that can only come from experience. I don’t want to live my life through the words and experiences of others – that is simulation, like a videogame. Always I look to the people who won’t tell me anything about how to live my life, because they’re too busy living a full and fabulous life of their own. They are my teachers, my mentors, even though most don’t even know I exist. In April this year I began a new journey of self-directed creative evolution. As a way to create ceremony I hiked 250km across northern Spain, some nights spent wild camping solo in a pilgrimage to the Eucalyptus trees. I’ve been documenting subsequent days in the OUTSIDER blog (link in bio). As Creative Wales finishes I had hoped to create ceremony to mark the transition from who I was into new ways of being and creating – I am not the woman I was, I cannot go backwards, only forwards. But our van was broken into and so plans have changed. And yet here I am in Slovenia, alone, with time and space to reflect. By chance(?) I found a small place to park by a church on a clifftop – one thing I’ve found is that the churches are often on sacred ground, usurping the nature worshippers who went before them. Still, the land remembers. This place remains special, so this time in the van, wrapping up warm against the cold, swimming in winter seas and writing, has become my closing ceremony. The ritual chants are the water against my skin, the cold in my bones, the dreams the land here has given me, and my heart answering “I am not the woman I was, I cannot go backwards, only forwards.” Now it is time for coffee, wine & cake. #creativewales #creativelife #poetlife
With deep gratitude and thanks to Arts Council Wales Creative Wales award.
#creativewales #creativelife #poetlife