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Breakup: a tryptic

June 13, 2019

by Sophie McKeand

control: when I see you in dreams / your grief is a moon harrying oceans / on black nights I am weather patterns stuttering across the sky / it is exhausting to be shifting in this way // I can no longer be the rivers of your tears / can no longer be the dam or funnel you towards beauty // I have built endless canopies as shelter from this lunar gaze / still, interference weeps like white noise onto my skin / if you could gather up your shadows & hold them to account things might be different / until then I will bury my heart in the sun

introspection: we slice & fashion each other into a thousand intricate patterns / as the eternal waves pummel us into sand / it is not that we cannot let go of the past / or that we cannot forgive / it is the daily reminder of our failings as the world around us disintegrates // we might as well try readjusting the moon / schedule a return to empty skies / force her to play out in staggering slow-time so that we can better reimagine ourselves // nobody told us to watch out for our shadows / except the women who laugh inappropriately / who dance wild jigs on days of mourning & hurl self-doubt at expanding stars / nobody listens to those crazy old hags anyway / instead we take endless photographs of each other / a reminder of the lengths we will go / to pretend we don’t lie  

gaslight: you have stolen the words from my mouth / enshrined your own in the beatings of my heart / their wings buzz & spark against the walls we have constructed // it was never supposed to be like this / each evening the sunset travels farther along the horizon / each evening I watch for the ships of gold / each evening carcasses & promises are cast adrift / abandoned in the afterglow of our passionate encounters // I slap birds of logic to the floor / watch dull feathers tumble into the coming storms that stammer out angry words / I will hold fast to this dream / we will take back control / I will not believe you would carry me this far / just to watch me drown 

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