Working on writing another poem in the ‘connecting with trees’ series has me thinking of this poem written over a year ago. Increasingly I feel I have nothing to teach, increasingly I believe I cannot show anybody how to do anything – it’s one of the reasons I’ve quit workshopping. How can I stand in front of a group and teach them how to write anything if all I can really do is to say?: You are beautiful & individual / do not listen to me, or anybody else when it comes to / creating a poem / dreaming your life into being / or connecting with a tree // all you can do is spend all the years you have learning to listen to your heart / all you can do is learn to trust yourself / all you can do is breathe // the rest will come when you finally understand the biggest lie you are told is ‘you cannot have one rule for yourself, and another for them’ / you can have any rule you like / but you may not have rules for others // the greatest truth we never learn is that there are no rules // Perhaps my past need to use poetry as a tool for evolving the collective consciousness through the creative revolution of each individual was really a lesson in letting go. There is no saving the world, not even one person at a time through poetry. A lot of people just got frustrated that I didn’t follow the grammar rules anyway – especially other teachers.
Now the trees teach me that there is nothing to teach, that there is only seeking out all the different lessons life has to offer & throwing myself into learning them to the very best of my ability. Everything else is me lying to, & avoiding the truth of, myself.
This is also me accepting that the ‘connecting with trees’ series of poems will be incredibly short. Find your own truth my friends, & when you do hang onto it for dear life. This world will try to tell you that you are, at worst, mad, and at best, delusional, because it cannot handle people with the strength of mind to think for themselves. This system works best when we all believe the same, act the same, & feel the same, even in the misery of conformity. That is all I can share these days, and even that may be too much.