Europe family vanlife

What love is

December 5, 2018


Love this photo. Love this man. One year in the van has had us doing a lot of reflecting on what it takes to keep a relationship working – and sometimes it’s as mercenary as one person not being prepared to let go when the other can’t see a way forward. Over our 14+ years together that’s oscillated between us. We’ve achieved so much, from bringing up our family, to curating events and supporting each other through freelance life; he does the amazing designs for all my poetry books; we’re a team, although we don’t always agree. Sometimes we shout and get frustrated, other times we feel massively misunderstood. It’s not plain sailing but then we realise that nothing worth having is and taking the easy road often leads to greater discontentment further down the line. Vanlife strips away all the corners in daily life where we could hide our gripes, or feelings of inadequacy, or resentment. At my best I’m supportive and invested; at my worst I’m distant and horribly critical. At his best Andy is generous and inventive; at his worst he’s controlling and negative. Nobody’s perfect. But we work through it by being honest about our shortcomings; by saying sorry (and meaning it) when we’ve been a shit; by trying to see things from the other’s perspective and not holding onto petty arguments; by being interested in each other’s lives while giving them space to grow. It’s hard work. And that never stops. In fact the longer we’ve been together, the harder we have to work at it. Which makes me realise what love really is: showing up every day, giving the best we’ve got, believing in each other, having faith in ourselves, knowing that we couldn’t be on this journey with anybody else, knowing that there’s one other person in the whole crazy world who knows us inside-out and back-to-front and loves every crackpot side to us. Andy’s my best friend and soul mate and I’m lucky to have him in my life. (He also has an awesome #moustache). #lovehim #love #partnerincrime #vanlifemoments #vanlifers #fulltimevanlife #homeiswhereyouparkit #homeiswheretheheartis #liveauthentic #couple #coupletravel #portraitphotography #selfportrait #portrait #blackandwhitephotography

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